By Any Other Name
by King Caspian the Seafarer
Summary: A short fluff for JillxEustace fans for Valentines Day. Jill has a report to do on names and Eustace says something he wished he hadn't.


**Disclaimer: I am not owning the Chronicles of Narnia.**

**A/N: Mwaha, Leon is being back with some happy fluffy stuff pour you EustacexJill fans. Poor Caspian will be being so distressed when he is finding out that there is another romance fic being posted on his page! And my English is being much better, non? I having been practicing.**

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_Experiment House, Five years after "The Silver Chair"_

"You know, Scrubb, you do have an odd name."

Eustace let out a long sigh and looked up from his book and over at Jill, who was sitting across the table, gazing down at a piece of paper. After staring at the paper for another three seconds, Eustace realized that she was staring at the report he had turned in last week and just gotten back today.

And it had his full name on it.

"Give me that," Eustace hissed, slapping his book down on the table with a hollow 'thud' and reaching for the report.

Jill frowned at his defensiveness and slid the paper across the table.

"Eustace Clarence Scrubb. Why on earth did your parents ever name you that?"

Eustace turned red as he carefully stuffed the report into his book bag, and then shrugged at Jill's question.

"My grandfather's name was Randall Clarence Dawkins. On my mother's side. My cousin, Edmund, got 'Randall', and I got stuck with 'Clarence'. And well, I'm not quite sure why they named me Eustace."

Jill frowned and looked down at her notebook.

"How interesting," she remarked, writing something down. "Wasn't there a 'Sir Eustace' in one of our history lessons?"

"I don't know," Eustace replied carelessly. "Even if there was, my parents wouldn't have named me after a knight"

Jill scribbled something down, and Eustace watched her curiously.

"What are you doing?" he finally asked.

"Writing something," was her answer.

Eustace rolled his eyes.

"Oh thank you, Pole. I never would have known that if you hadn't cleared that up."

Jill shot him an amused glare, never hesitating in her scribbling.

"_What_ are you writing?" Eustace asked, standing up and walking behind her to see.

Jill covered the notebook with her hand so that he couldn't see it.

"I have to do a report on 'names'. I'm taking a survey. If you had a son, what would you name him?"

Eustace gave her a bewildered look, and then plopped down into the chair next to her, hoping to get a glimpse of her report.

"Um…" he glanced around the room, searching frantically for anything that might work as an answer. "William."

Jill wrinkled her nose and gave him a look.

"William? Why William?"

Eustace knew that it would never do to say that he chose the name 'William' because the painting on the wall behind her was of William Shakespeare.

"William is a good name," he replied, shrugging.

Jill gave an exasperated sigh and shook her head at him.

"Come on, Scrubb. Really. What would you name a son? 'Eustace'?"

Now it was Eustace who wrinkled his nose.

"Never. I've had enough trouble with that name already."

"Then what?" Jill asked, biting her lip and giving him an impatient look. "Can't you think of something?"

An idea finally occurred to Eustace.

"Maybe Caspian…or Rilian. Or perhaps Edmund, or Digory, or Peter might work…?"

Jill giggled, a twinkle entering her eyes.

"It would never do to name him Puddleglum," she whispered with a mischievous smile.

Eustace grinned at her.

"No, it wouldn't. That's even worse than Eustace Clarence."

"What would you name a daughter?" Jill asked, apparently tired of that subject.

Eustace frowned and looked quickly around the room. No pictures or sculptures to help him this time. He quickly searched his mind. There were no Narnian girl names in his memory either…unless you counted 'Ramandu's daughter' or 'the Lady of the Green Kirtle'.

Finally, Eustace shrugged and mumbled, "Jill, I guess."

Jill began to scribble again, but then realized what he had said. Her cheeks turned pink, and she looked up at him in surprise.

"Jill? Not 'Alberta' or 'Susan' or 'Lucy'?"

Eustace felt himself turning red and looked away.

"No, I suppose it would have to be 'Lucy'. I'd forgotten about her, and it's such a pretty name."

Jill nodded, a bit downcast, he thought. She scribbled violently on the paper, until Eustace decided to finish the thought that was still spinning in his mind.

"Perhaps 'Lucy Jill Scrubb' would be best. It would be less confusing that way, so that there wouldn't be two Jill Scru—er, I mean…"

He stopped abruptly, turning red at his own words. Jill caught her breath, and Eustace looked away. He didn't want to see how she had taken his comment. Finally, though, he had to look back at her.

She was smiling at him.

Eustace managed an embarrassed grin, and then stood up instantly

"I'll see you around, Pole. I've got to work on my report."

He grabbed his book bag and slung it over his shoulder.

"I'll see you around, Scrubb," Jill replied, her voice slightly hurt.

Eustace swallowed hard, and then turned around quickly.

"You really do have a pretty name, Jill," he stated, trying desperately not to blush as he said the words.

Jill's frown almost disappeared, and the corners of her mouth twitched. She gave him a small smile.

"Thanks, Eustace," she replied gratefully. "I think your name is so much more interesting, though."

Eustace rolled his eyes and raised an eyebrow as he saw a mischievous glint enter Jill's dancing blue eyes.

"What?" he asked.

"One last question," she said, obviously trying not to giggle. "Eustace Clarence Scrubb…do your parents ever call you nicknames, like 'Clara'?"

Eustace flinched, remembering ruefully the real reason he had never told Jill his full name before. He could have given her a glare, and then turned and stalked away angrily. Or he could've shot back an equally biting retort. But instead, he grinned back, even though his face was turning red, and snatched up her pencil.

"Jillian Pole," he said, faking sternness as he spoke, pointing the pencil at her, "You'd better watch what you say, because if you start calling me 'Clara', I can easily spread word around the school that Jill Pole's middle name is—"

"Don't even say it," Jill warned, her grin disappearing and a slightly worried look appearing on her face. "How did you learn what it was?"

Eustace gave her a victorious smirk and pulled a report out of his book bag. With sinking heart, Jill spotted her familiar scrawl at the top of the page.

Her science report. With _her_ full name on it.

"Give me that!" she hissed, lunging for it.

Eustace let her snatch it from his hands, and leaned back against the table, smiling wickedly at her.

"Jillian Violetta Pole. Now _why_ did your parents _ever_ name you _that_?"

After glaring at her friend for a long, long moment, Jill grinned back, shaking her head at him.

"Have it your way, _Clara_," she whispered, watching his ears turn bright red at the taunt.

"Whatever you say, _Violetta_," Eustace retorted, feeling satisfaction when he saw her cheeks turn pink.

Then, Eustace Clarence picked up his book bag and made his way to the library door. Jillian Violetta watched him go, smiling at his back, and then scrawled one last sentence at the end of her report

_To conclude, names are only as important as you let them be. A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet…even if its name was Eustace._

But then she blushed and erased the whole line. Eustace Clarence Scrubb. It wasn't so bad, once you learned to wrap your tongue around it.

"Names, names, names," she said to herself, unaware of the silly grin that had taken up residence on her face. "If only _all_ conversations here were this interesting."

_Finis._

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**A/N: Ouch. Leon, if you're going to post fluffy stuff, then 'be getting' your own fanfiction account! Sorry about all these sappy stories, everyone. When a person can't control their own character, it's a pretty sad world. I'll try to keep Leon away from my laptop, but if I fail, here's my apology in advance. And don't encourage him in your reviews…as if he wasn't bad enough **_**before**_**people started liking his mischievousness.**


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